GOODBYE JEAN....

Today we said our finally goodbyes to Jean. It was an incredibly hard day. It makes the word "Goodbye" take on a whole new meaning. Tonight as I put Raelynn to bed and she said her prayers she also spoke to Nanni. When she was done she asked me what I was going to say to Nanni tonight. At the time I was a little taken by the question and just said I would tell her I love her but there is so much more I would say and I cannot think of a better place to say it than in this blog......she loved reading the blog.

Nanni~
I hope you thought everything was beautiful today. I know you think we all made too much of a fuss over you but remember we needed this to help us be ok with all of this. I hope you felt honored and respected. I hope you know when we cried we cried because we know you are in a wonderful place but we are going to miss you here. I hope you know how sad it makes me to know that Raelynn and Cooper are going to struggle remembering you as they get older but I also hope you know we will never let them forget either. I will always tell them how you reminded me how to be respectful and kind. I will tell them how you would get so mad at me when I would send you cards because you thought it was a waste of money, but I knew deep down you loved getting them. I will tell them how you were always there with a helping hand when we needed it even though we never asked. I will remind Raelynn how much she loved Nanni muffins and how you would bring them to us all the time and we would get soooo excited. When my family was coming to visit they would even ask if we had any Nanni Muffins, they were famous muffins. I will remind Cooper how you would pray for him every night. You would pray that his little heart would be fixed or that he would start to eat or that he would just be watched after. Now I know you are watching out for him and I take comfort in that. I want you to know that Terry is missing you. He may not always show it but I am learning that what he shows on the outside is only a small part of what is going on in the inside. Please know I will always be here with him and together we will continue to carry on your memory and honor and respect you in everything we do. You have a wonderful family and they are all missing you very much. We love you and we miss you! We will all need you from time to time so please stay close.

So after a long hard day this is what I would like to tell her. The service was very nice and I was proud of Steph as she sang Amazing Grace beautifully. My Mom and Sherri helped have a great lunch ready after the graveside service. They worked so hard on Sunday getting everything together. This is what family does and it so great that both Terry and I are blessed with fantastic families. As I have said a thousand times over this past year, we are so fortunate for what we have and as life continues to throw us challenges in our journey we will continue to face each one knowing we have been given everything we need to get through them.

A WONDERFUL GOLF TOURNEY....

Friday was the 1st Annual Cooper's Cause Golf Tournament and to say it was a success would be an understatement. The day was beautiful. We all four headed out to the course a little after 7am. The turn out was fabulous. Tom had made a little memorial to Jean and had a moment of silence to start things off. That was very touching and I thought quite thoughtful. I left the little speech up to Terry this time and I have to admit I was a little nervous. I have never heard him publicly speak and he always leaves that up to me. I thought this tournament was more of his thing and what his friends had done for us and it was only appropriate for him to speak. I was so proud! He did a fantastic heartfelt thank you to everyone. It was an emotional day for us with Jean passing and just the support of everyone there. Throughout the morning Terry and I just went from hole to hole stopping to talk to the teams and thank them for their participation. Everyone was so incredibly kind and they all made a little fuss over Cooper which any mother loves. I was quite taken once again with every one's generosity and genuine kindness. Raelynn had a great time as well. She actually sank a pretty long put and ate junk all day long. What more could she ask for? The day was perfect for Terry. He was at the one place he loves to be surrounded by his family and friends. I know the day meant the world to him.

There has been so many immediate things to talk about I have forgotten to mention that Cooper has his first tooth. It is just this tiny cute little thing. He is drinking more and more and the Whey Protein we are putting in the regular milk is working like a charm. He is just doing so great. Terry even said tonight how he really never thought we would see this smiling, energetic, playful little boy and now we do every day. He is still not really eating but everyday seems to put more things in his mouth and I am hopeful that he will actually start eating soon.

Tomorrow is the visitation. I am not sure how that will go. It has been a couple nights now since we have all been together. It just seems you push the sadness to the back of your heart but when we are all there together I know the sadness will come flowing back. I do look forward to seeing everyone again though, it is also somewhat comforting when we are all together.

A WEEK FULL OF SHOCK AND SADNESS....

Yesterday Terry's mother, Jean, passed away. Our Nanni, gone forever. They believe she had a blood clot that caused a massive heart attack. She did not suffer and for that we are all so very thankful but she is very missed. I have not been through this before. It is amazing the many decisions that need to be made and the amount of things that flood your mind that will need to be done over the next few months. Jean was a very simple, firm, private, outspoken, simply wonderful lady. She had her opinion and did not force them on you but was not scared to let you know them. I loved her so much! She was wonderful to me from the very day I met her. I want to do everything I can to help Bill and the rest of the family have time to grieve. Popo (Bill) is taking it very hard. It is incredibly hard to watch him cry as he speaks of her. I cannot imagine the emptiness he feels right now. This has been a new experience for Raelynn also and she is handling it very well. We talk about it a lot and she tells everyone what is going on. She never fails to mention either how much she misses Nanni, it is heart winching. I could tell you story after story of things Raelynn has said and done that has made Terry and I cry, laugh and beam with pride. She is once again amazing me and making me so proud of her ability to handle life.



There are so many things going on this week as well and I will elaborate more later. I am more exhausted now than I have been for weeks and so I am trying to keep it short. We did see Dr. Kelley again this morning and Cooper had lost another ounce. Dr. Kelley is giving us another week and I got some natural flavored Whey Protein this afternoon to put in Cooper's milk to try to get him extra calories. He has been drinking it down all night so I am hopeful this will help.



The Cooper's Cause Golf Tournament is Friday. I think it is going to be a wonderful turn out and we are so excited!

ANOTHER BIG SUCCESS!!!

Saturday was the Cooper's Cause 5K Fun Run and what a huge success. I believe we had 147 people which for the first year of a 5K that is fabulous! Everyone worked so hard and just as the Henry T's fundraiser, we were so touched by everything that happened. There was a man who was just driving by that opened his wallet and handed one of the volunteers the last $4 in his wallet. Anyone who doesn't believe there are very good people in this world and a lot of them really needs to talk to us. I always have a hard time keeping myself together at these events because you cannot even imagine how it feels to stand before a group of people who have only your best interest at heart and are there just to help us. There was a lady that as she crossed the finish line asked exactly how far is a 5K. I told her and she said I have never ran before. The stories go on and on. The day was perfect and the run was great. Another huge success!!! Even little Cooper walked across the finish line, with a little help from Daddy. I have sent the pictures over to be downloaded to the website so you will have to go check them out in the next day or so, www.cooperscause.com. For all of you that participated in the event in any manner.....THANK YOU!

Cooper saw Dr. Kelley on Friday and he had lost an ounce. He is borderline in regards to staying off the feeding tube but so far he is still off of it. Even with the crazy weekend we had he maintained 20 to 25 oz per day. Today he chewed crazily on a pretzel and even ate some. He also drank some fruit juice and a few bites of a milk shake. He needs to start drinking or eating more though so he does not have the weight loss. He could not continue to loose for very long. He will drink constantly if it is offered to him so I truly believe it will be entirely up to Lisa and I to make sure he gets enough just by constantly offering drinks to him.

The weekend was great. My family was all in town and therefore we kept very busy. Steph decided to get a tattoo so Saturday night I went with her to do that. It is very cute and in a place that can be hidden so I don't think she will ever regret doing it. It seems to be a family tradition once in college :) Anyway, it was a great weekend but I am truly exhausted and have to get some sleep because I do not see that next week is going to be any slower or the nights any longer. I am still trying to complete forms and paperwork for Cooper's Cause Foundation. I had a goal to be done on Saturday but with some things still pending was not able to complete everything. I sure hope it gets done this week. I need some normal nights of sleep back.

DAY 3.........

Still improving with 24 ounces today. I am so excited he is doing better. He is such a better baby and is so close to crawling. He actually ate/choked on a cracker tonight. I am anxious and nervous for our appointment with Dr. Kelley. I am hopefully he has not lost too much weight.

We had our interview on KSNT 27 News tonight but I have not seen it yet. People said it was good but I am anxious to see it myself. The media coverage has been great. I am soooooo excited for5 the 5K and to see my family. I am also extremely tired and still have so much paperwork to do so this is it for tonight. Please say a prayer that Cooper has earned the right to leave his feeding out@