WONDERFUL WEEKEND OF APPRECIATING EVERY SECOND...........

There is a family that contacted me through CCF.  They had a beautiful baby girl in September, born with heart defects.  She had already undergone 2 open heart surgeries and was on ECMO.  I corresponded with the Dad a few times on Facebook and had stopped by CMH to drop them off a little gift, but I have never met them directly.  The day Raelynn and I dropped off the gift I guess we passed them in the hall but I did not realize it until we had left and I received a facebook message from the Dad.  They are a young but strong couple who you could easily tell LOVED their little girl with all their hearts.  I am always especially touched by those who are currently going through surgeries and who have had to encounter ECMO because I think my heart relates to them so much.  If you remember, ECMO is a full life support system they use for heart kids when needed.  It is not something you ever want to have to rely on and usually used in the dire of cases.  Coop was on ECMO for 6 days.  When he went on he had a 25% chance of survival.  Coop was 6 months old.  When he was on ECMO, there were 4 other kids also on ECMO.  One by one, we watched as each little one was weened from ECMO and died.  Coop was the last to come off and I don't think they really expected him to make it.  I remember one day in particular while he was on ECMO when they had the hospital parishioner come in and talk to me.  It was by far one of the most difficult days we spent there.  Miraculously Coop did survive and he never looked back, but I can't say that there aren't times I still think about that day and the tears still flow.  On Friday night I learned that this sweet, strong baby girl was now a beautiful angel and I could not help but cry.  They had posted many pics of her and her beautiful eyes just smiled.  I cried for them, knowing that she was in a better place and no longer in pain, but I cried for her Mom and Dad.  It brought back all the fears we have felt over the last 5 years.  I brought back all the pain we felt thinking about the unthinkable, but most of all it screamed to me that they were facing what I feared most in this world and that was the loss of a child.  I wanted to hug them and I wanted to tell them how sorry I was for them and I wanted to tell them that she was in a better place but I know those are just words.  Most of all I wanted to thank them for giving us all one more angel to watch over us.  She looked like an angel here on Earth, I can only imagine what a beautiful angel she is now.  I hope these two young parents find strength in her and each other.  I hope they realize that what they have learned in the last month is more than they have ever learned in their lifetime and more than most people will ever learn.  I hope they remember to think of each other and remember they are the only 2 on Earth that share this exact experience and even though others can relate, they are the only 2 who share the love of their beautiful angel as parents.  I pray for them both and thank them for yet another reminder of how lucky we really are.

I really think it was because of this that Saturday was such a great day.  We started the day out bright and early.  I got up and ran as usual but Saturday we had to be in Topeka by 8:30am so Raelynn could join Aunt Bonnie for a fashion show and horse demonstration.  We had just got on the road.  I was enjoying the kids and we were being silly and crazy.  We had the radio cranked and were singing and car dancing.  Unfortunately our fun was ended abruptly when the car coming towards me flipped on his lights and flipped around behind me.  Yep, a cop!  I was so embarrassed to be stopped with my kids and knew I was going 5mph above the speed limit bur REALLY?!  Weellllll, I guess the speed limit wasn't what I thought it was and instead of 5 over I was 15!!!!!!  On top of that, I couldn't find my insurance nor could I  pull it up on my phone.  The Police Officer was so sweet.  I was laughing and told him what I did for a living and he found that funny!  As he took my license and headed back to his car I told the kids I was sorry and that this was going to put a little damper on the shopping we were going to do later that afternoon.  Cooper responded by saying, "Well if he gives you a ticket you deserve it.  You shouldn't have been having so much fun!"  Sometimes that little goodie-2-shoes really annoys me!  Hahahaha!  Raelynn's only response was, "I am sooooo going to tell Dad!"  Anyway, the Officer came back with a smile on his face and told me he just gave me a warning because my birthday was in a few days!!!!  How do I get so lucky!?  Anyway, needless to say I thanked him, the kids thanked him and I drove the speed limit the rest of the way! Raelynn had a wonderful time with Aunt Bonnie as usual and Coop and I got to hang out with Aunt Steph and Uncle Cody.  It was truly an awesome day.  I love being with them and it just seemed especially nice to be there.  We spent all day and really didn't even want to leave when we did but it was getting late and we were getting tired.  Raelynn stayed and then went with Aunt Karli to a late movie and sleep over.  About 10:30pm, after Coop was in bed and Terry was asleep on the couch, I got this horrible feeling.  I was terrified about Raelynn being at a late movie in Topeka.  I began to cry and text Karli to see how they were doing.  Finally about 11:30 or 12 she text me back and they were crawling into bed.  I cannot tell you how relieved I was.  I have no idea what came over me but I was so scared.  I just kept thinking about all the bad things that could happen and I got carried away.  At one point I thought about how we have prepared ourselves so many times in regards to losing Cooper, but I never think about losing Raelynn which could happen just as easily.  I think my emotions just got the best of me.  I know we can't approach every day and every event in our lives with fear and I would never allow myself to, but sometimes, those fears are hard to push back.

Today has been a good day too but went by entirely too fast!  I have a long list still incomplete but what is not on the incomplete list is time with my family, showing love to my children or telling them how much I love them.  Those things will never be on my list of what did not get done but they will ALWAYS be on my daily To Do List.  They will always sit right on top and be the first to be checked off.