Sometimes I have so much to say but really don't have enough time to say it so I just sum it all up and post pics that really tell what we've been doing. However, tonight is a little different. I still have so much to say and not enough time to say it but this time pictures just won't tell the whole story. Life is full of emotions and I think they were all wrapped up in the past week……
So I left off on our last post as we were headed to CMH for Coop's cardiac appointment. All I wanted was answers and we did get some. The problematic valve that Coop has is leaking more now than it was just 6 months ago based on what they are seeing in the Echo. We have always struggled with this valve as it has been worked on several times. In order for the doctors to really be able to see what is going on in there they are going to do another cardiac catheter. If you remember this is where they thread a long flexible tube up through his groin and up to the heart to get pictures of what is really going on in there. This is an exploratory catheterization and used for diagnostic purposes. However, his cardiologist thought they should take it one step further and be prepared for a surgical catheterization and be prepared to insert the Melody Valve if Coop's coronary system can handle it. This valve is what we have been waiting for. It is the first FDA approved Transcatheter Pulmonary Valve. It is inserted through the flexible tube (catheter) and placed in the heart. If able to preform this procedure it will eliminate the need for open heart surgery for the time being and potentially for quite a few years. The scary part is that the catheter has to be fairly large and there is question whether Coop can handle this large of a catheter without fear of rupturing a Major vessel or worse. The other scary part is that if his coronary system is not strong enough for the Melody Valve then how long can we prolong things before we have to have another open heart surgery? If we were to have open heart surgery again it would be Coop's 4th in 6 years and those are not very good odds when you start looking at survival rates taking into account the scar tissue and other issues that arise from multiple open heart surgeries in a short amount of time. Therefore, I have to say I am a little nervous this time. Coop is as well. The older he gets the harder some of the details and emotions about surgery and treatments get. Coop knows everything is not alright and he knew when we went on Wednesday there were probably going to be some discussion as to what comes next. He was very fidgety and at times acted very silly. He was still wonderful during his testing doing exactly as they asked and even telling them where to put the "stickers" for his EKG but once Dr. Kaine entered the room he was nervous. As we were all talking about what we may or may not do Coop said, "or we could not do it." It made me sad because he so gets all of this now. He has told me a couple times since that he does not want another surgery and I just remind him that I don't care to have another surgery either but that we will do whatever it takes to make sure he is here every night for me to snuggle with. So that is where we are at; waiting for Margaret to call from scheduling and get us on the books. Then we will start the waiting game, the game of trying to get every pound we can on Coop and the game of trying to avoid all illnesses!
Thursday I took the day off to spend at the fair watching Raelynn in her Rabbit Judging. She made me so proud not in the ribbons she received but in the way she received them. The girl is so in her realm there. It is astonishing to me at how her passion gushes from her ever movement, every smile and every word spoke. She had an amazing week at fair and did so very well. I also cannot say enough about our amazing club leaders. These people embraced Raelynn like she was there own. They taught her so much and gave her such a wonderful experiences. I really cannot say enough about this wonderful family. There is no doubt in my mind that we found the best club in town!!!
After a long week it was finally Friday and web were headed down to Tom and Jan's at the Ozarks for the weekend. Right before I left for work we got a call from Aunt Bonnie. Charm, the horse Raelynn learned to ride on and the horse that everyone loved so much was going to have to be put down after a quick illness. There were tears from all of us. It wasn't until late Saturday night that it really hit Raelynn thought. We were down at the lake and she had been in bed for a bit. I saw her get up and I went to check on her only to find her crying hard. She said she was saying her prayers and Charm just came into her head. She said she was trying so hard not to think about it. Her tears were not just for her loss but for Aunt Bonnie's and her cousin Megan who all had a special bond with Charm. It was truly heartbreaking to watch her feel the loss of an animal and one as special as Charm made it even harder. I finally convinced her that maybe now Nanny was in heaven riding Charm and she should be happy for them both. This seemed to comfort her greatly knowing that Nanny and Charm were together.
Besides that sadness, We had so much fun. Terry and I relaxed why Tom and Jan tended to our kids, Lol! Really they did entertain them entirely. We had a great time and only wished it could have lasted longer. Thank you so much to Tom and Jan for opening their home to us and seeing to it that we had a fantastic time. (Don't worry Jan I won't include how you caused me to sprain my wrist and bruise my knees, hahahaha).
Tonight and every night I thank God for giving me more love that I deserve and giving me more to love than I ever knew was out there!
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