SADNESS OVERSHADOWS OUR DAILY SMILES.......

Tonight I planned to make a post because my kids make me smile every day and today was no exception.  I keep this blog not only to keep my family up-to-date on our lives but also to keep a journal for Raelynn and Coop so when they are my age and raising their children they will have it to reflect on.  So today I picked Coop up from Mary Beth's.  As we are driving to get Raelynn he is telling me in true boy fashion about the fun he was having with his friends.  He says with a smile on his face and almost a laugh in his voice, "Today I was playing basketball with my friends and when I was sitting in time out Kaden's ball got stuck on the goal and he hit it and it popped right out, it was so funny."  I am sure he was expecting me to laugh along with him and ask a couple pertinent questions as I always do but instead I had focused in on the part where he said "when I was sitting in time out".  So I said, "When you were sitting in time out?  Why were you sitting in time out?"  Coop says, "Oh, I shouldn't have said that part."  I couldn't help but chuckle a little before I continued to peruse the reason for the time out.

So these are the cute things I experience with my kids every day.  Every day is something new and better than the day before.  So tonight when I took a call from my Mom, my heart sank.  My cousin is pregnant with her first biological child.  My Mom and sisters had just been out to her baby shower last weekend.  She is due in 2 short weeks and so happy.  I am FB friends with her and I love her posts.  She is a nurse in Colorado and through her posts I have watched her beam with happiness through this pregnancy. So tonight when I received a call from Mom telling me that she had lost her baby I could hardly breathe.  I sat down immediately and tears came to my eyes.  I instantly felt pain for her and yet knew that the knot in my stomach did not compare to a fraction of what she and her family felt.  Tears run down my face as I type now, I don't know if it is because I am a Mother and know how incredible it is or if it is because we have been so close to loosing a child of our own but I cannot help but hurt for her deeply.  I know God has a plan and I always keep that in the forefront of my thoughts but it does not make the pain go away or the sadness disappear.  I know she will be ok, she is a strong woman, but I will pray hard for her.  I have always believed that death is painful for us left behind but for that beautiful baby, he was able to skip everything here on Earth and skip straight to extraordinary bliss where everything is as perfect as he is.  We should all feel joy for him and remember the pain we feel is our own and not his.  He will be waiting to meet his family someday but for now will always hold a special place in the heart of his Mom, Dad and Brother that will give them strength they never knew they had and love they never knew possible.  Our thoughts, prayers and love are with you all.