COOPER'S HEART UPDATE....

We saw Dr. Kaine, Coop's Cardiologist on Friday. He was very pleased with the way Cooper looked and acted. He even said it was very gratifying to have a patient like Cooper. He adjusted his meds just slightly but again decreasing the amount he needed. That was the good stuff, now for the not so good stuff. They did an ECHO, the hole in Cooper's heart is not getting smaller. Therefore, they will have to go back in for yet another open heart surgery to repair this. They say this surgery is very straight forward and much simplier than what we have just gone through. He also said that since Coop is doing so well even with the hole, they will postpone the surgery as long as possible. He thinks Cooper is strong enough to make it through the upcoming flu season and is thinking it would be around this time next year. This will not be the last of Cooper's surgeries but it will once again depend on exactly how they choose to fix this hole (VSD) as to how long before the next. I am very sad that he will have to go through so much more but honestly I think Terry and I both knew this was coming. Cooper will be much bigger by his next surgery and just in general his body should better withstand it. I know however, the day we walk in that hospital and hand him over to the nurse and once again walk down that hall to the Same Day Surgery Waiting Room it will take everything I have inside to not completely loose it. Things are different now. We always knew his procedures were complicated and there were always the possibilty that things would not go as planned, but now we know first hand how wrong things can go. And though Cooper made it through, we watched the worst happen to other families and came way to close ourselves. I really don't know how I am going to prepare myself. There is also the other factor, I am so in love with him now. In the very beginning I distanced myself as much as possible while still loving him and being a good Mommy. As he got older that became harder to do. Now, it is impossible. He has a personality, a smile that would make anyone melt, beautiful blue eyes, adorable toes and these precious ears that still stick out. I love him and now, really, nothing can happen to him. "He will be fine, I will be fine, We will all be just fine but I will make every second of everyday count", this is what I will say to myself every morning when I wake up. There will probably never be a time that there won't be a surgery or procedure "coming up" whether it be a year or 5 years away for Cooper. I will not live daily fearing the outcome but I will remind myself that there is nothing in this world as important as my two kids and will always live for them.

Cooper is making some progress. He now puts a bottle nipple in his mouth....to chew on and he does play in his food. Today I was drinking water out of a glass while I was holding him. He was looking so curiously at my glass so I put it to his lips and tipped it up. He drank from my glass. He swallowed fine. No gagging. This is all so mental for him. I tried it a few more times and he took one more drink and then lost interest. Dr. Kaine did talk to us about a G tube which again is the tube the surgically place in his stomach. He said it is fine if we are not ready to give up yet but to remember it is sometimes a much easier way until they decide to eat. The only thing I hear is "surgery" and therefore I am not ready to throw in the towel. Dr. Kaine said though from a cardiac standpoint he has released Cooper for that procedure or simply to allow us to let him get hungry without fear of hurting his growth. For now we will just continue trying!