SISSY LOVES HER BOO.....................

What a week we had last week. Raelynn is in an unbelievably good phase. She has been so grown up and so good, but it wasn't her wonderful behavior and attitude that really made last week touching. Last Sunday we were with some of Terry's family discussing Coop's next cardiac appointment on Feb. 3rd when they will determine when his next surgery will be. Then on Monday or Tuesday while Terry and I were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner we were talking about the families that Cooper's Cause was providing funds to. One of the families' baby did not make it and Raelynn was asking questions about them. We were talking openly about the situation and Raelynn knows that the foundation is to help other families with kids like Coop so she had asked me a few questions about the babies heart defects. The following day, I picked Raelynn up from school and dropped her off at Mary Beth's. She gets to Mary Beth's a little before 2pm and the little kids take their naps at 2pm. Well I guess after I left and they went to put Coop down for his nap, Raelynn began sobbing that she had not got any time to play with her brother. Mary Beth said she was just sobbing. I didn't put this all together until Thursday. I picked Raelynn up from school and headed to Mary Beth's. We are just talking away when Raelynn asks me when Coop's next surgery is. I told her we would find out in a couple weeks on Feb. 3rd. She asks if he would be in the hospital again and I let her know he would. She then asked what they were doing to his heart this time. I told her they were still trying to fix it just like last time. She replies to me, "Is he going to die again?" It was like a light bulb coming on to me. All the talk about his next surgery and of the other family loosing their baby left Raelynn with the fear of losing her little brother. She understands that we almost lost him last time and now I had just told her they were doing the same surgery they had before. I replied to her that I didn't know if Boo would die or not but we were lucky to have so much of him in our hearts that we would never be without him. I told her we had to trust that God has a plan for Cooper and whatever that plan is we have to believe it is the perfect plan. She says, "I would miss him." By this time I can hardly keep the tears back but I manage to say, "I would miss him too." This was the end of our conversation and she went on to say she was hungry and wondered what was for lunch. I couldn't help but realize our resilient little girl is still just 4 years old and I know that I do not want her worrying about anything but the things a 4 year old should, but unfortunately we are beyond that and now we just have to make sure that she doesn't keep her grown up worries to herself and that we can continue to talk about them. I also think that not only talking to her and with her but letting her be as much a part of Cooper's daily activities and she wants to be will help. So I will continue watching her help with his bathes, brush his teeth, get ready for dinner every night, read him stories, play game after game with him, teach him new words and on and on, and the whole while I will remember inside that she is not doing this just because she loves her brother but because she fears losing even a second with him, much as I do.