SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED.......

There has been so much that has happened since my last post so we will take it day by day through the good and the not so good. Monday morning I headed to work and got a call from Mom. There was possible high winds, sleet and ice turning to snow moving in to Scott City area Tuesday. Therefore, our plans to leave Tuesday after work did not look so promising. We started making arrangements to leave Monday night or Tuesday morning. As always Tom was great and let me leave a day early. Terry hustled around and got two days work done in one. There was no way we could be ready Monday night but Tuesday morning we hit the road a little before 6 am. The trip down went fairly well. The kids are not big fans of their car seats, especially Cooper so we got to experience his tears and anger for the majority of the trip. Raelynn did not sleep on the trip and except for a small portion did very well. For the first time ever, we arrived in Scott City in the daylight. It was really nice to get there and actually have some time to talk and settle in. We usually get there in the middle of the night so everyone is eager to get to bed. We drove in a little rain but the weather did not turn bad until late evening. They had blowing snow, it was not bad, but would have not been the best to drive in. Later in the day we received a call from my Aunt that my Grandma was in the hospital and they would not be here for Christmas. Grandma had suffered from several strokes and she had not been well for years. Aunt Barbara has cared for her and made so many sacrifices to do so. They thought she may have pneumonia but she was doing fine and was responsive but would probably be in the hospital until Friday. We were very disappointed because we have not seen them for a very long time.

Wednesday we spent the day getting ready for our Christmas Eve Bash. We had a great time. We went to Christmas Eve Service at six. It was a really nice service as always. As we stood at the front of the church while we gathered in a circle with lighted candles and singing Silent Night, Cooper decides to put on a show. I guess he is so use to being the center of attention, he thought everyone was looking at him. He started raising his arms and acting as though he was bowing and worshiping which was quite appropriate but also quite comical. The more we laughed the prouder he was of himself. Cassidy and Chandler were part of a little performance at church as well and it was really good.

Sherri and the girls!

The Coopers

Grandma and Grandpa with the Grandkids!

The Cooper Girls!

The Keefer's

After church we headed home and started the eating. After we ate too much it was gift time. It was insane! I suppose you could say there are too many gifts but when are there ever too many gifts? We have so much fun and it is always so much fun watching everyone open what you got them. That is the best part. The kids got wonderful gifts as well as Terry and I. Cooper wasn't much into opening his gifts but loved what was inside. Raelynn was awesome. She loves opening gifts and is so thankful. The good news is she didn't even have to use her fake smile and thank you that we had practiced just in case she got a gift she didn't really like. Everything was so mush fun. We actually finished by 10pm this year and we had some time to play. Then it was off to bed so we wouldn't be to awake when Santa came.

A House Divided!

Cooper applauds his gift!

Yes! Raelynn got her WII!

Thank you Aunt Karli for my perfume!!!

Cutest present ever!
The next morning Santa spoiled us again! Cassidy and Chandler stayed at Grandma's too so we could all have Santa together.


After that we started preparing for a late dinner. Mom and Sherri cooked and the rest of us started a Gilmore Girls Marathon. Karli had gotten all 7 seasons! The marathon continued through Friday night!!! Dinner was fabulous as always!!! As we were finishing up the phone rang, it was Aunt Barbara. Grandma has passed away. My Grandpa had passed 4 years ago on Thanksgiving Day and now Grandma on Christmas. It was very sad although also a blessing. As I had said, Grandma had not been well and now for the first time she was herself again, in heaven with God. We had grown up with my Grandma and she was wonderful. She was a classic Grandma. She made everything homemade and I loved her very much. Years ago I had actually mourned her loss when she had lost her ability to care for herself. I will never forget it. I had come back for Christmas and there was my Grandma sitting in a wheelchair and hardly feeding herself. I cried through the whole dinner. It was a very difficult day for me. So now, although I am sad, I am also very happy that she is free and happy again. She was not "living" these past few years she was just here. Now it was time again to tell Raelynn that her Great Grandma had passed away, just two months after Nanni. She said very little and I expect there to be more after the funeral. In addition my Aunt Helene who had also been very ill passed away on Christmas Eve, this is my Grandma's Sister-In-Law. So that is how our Christmas ended.

The past 2 days have been filled with funeral planning and just trying to figure out how Terry and I can make it all work. The funeral is set for Tuesday with viewing Monday evening. Terry and I have cautiously decided to just stay here instead of driving back today and then returning Monday. The 5 1/2 hour trip is a long one. I still don't know that this was the best decision. I just feel like there are things that need to be dealt with there and missing more work is very hard for me. This year has been a very long and hard one. I am truly blessed to have the boss I have and respect him more than he will ever know. I always hope he knows that I never take his kindness for granted and will continue to work very hard for him. I have always thought that your work says a lot about who you are and therefore missing days here and there for Cooper and funerals, although unavoidable and unpredictable, are always difficult for me and the reason I never just take a day off for me. I am just thankful for my job and what it has given me. We will stay here until after the funeral on Tuesday and then head back.

Friday my other Grandma on my Mom's side, my Aunt Linda, Uncle Bob, Uncle Wayne and Aunt Ann all stopped by to visit. My Grandma is 91 and looks fabulous. It was so great to see her. My Aunt Linda was crazy as ever and always makes us laugh. As Terry says, Uncle Bob has to be just as crazy to live with her. :) They are so much fun. Uncle Wayne and Aunt Ann were also well and it was such a nice visit. We do not get to see them very often and none of them had met Coop. Uncle Wayne and Aunt Ann had brought there granddaughter and she and Raelynn spent the afternoon playing. Grandma is now my last living Grandparent which just makes the visit even more special.

Great Grandma Branine and Cooper

Great Grandma Branine and Raelynn

Great Aunt Linda and Cooper

Great Grandma Branine and Cooper

IS TODAY CHRISTMAS????

Every morning Raelynn asks, "Is today Christmas?" before she even wakes up. This time of year has always been my favorite but it is even better now with the kids. Our weekend was packed with last minute cooking and shopping and packing. Raelynn, Cooper and I cooked all day Saturday making cookies, banana bread and candies. It was so much fun but my helpers pooped out a little early. Raelynn managed to always be in the kitchen when it was time to lick the beaters from the blender or lick a bowl or eat cookie dough, but cartoons called her away during the baking and clean up time. The kids were really great this weekend and I managed to get so much done. We are all just very eager to head out to Western Kansas to see Grandma and Grandpa and everyone else. I know these next two days are going to be very long. We have so much to do on Monday delivering gifts but then we will be ready to go.

We picked out Cooper's glasses on Wednesday and we hope to have them before we leave. He is still throwing up like crazy but cannot explain why other than his cold and coughing causing it. Other than that he is fine. He is getting very ornery. Today, every time Raelynn and I would be playing or I would be holding her Cooper would come over and try to disrupt us or push her off my lap. At one point he pulled Raelynn's hair and Raelynn says, "Cooper that is not very good choices, you need to make better choices." Cooper reached up and pulled her hair again and she says "Cooper you need to use nice touches!" With that, Cooper laid his little head on her shoulder and gave her a hug. Raelynn and I both cracked up. They are so cute and I find myself so proud of Raelynn with the way she handles him. I am truly afraid Cooper is going to be a terror because he is just so darn cute and you cannot help but laugh at his orneriness. He knows exactly what he is doing and finds himself quite entertaining too. Most of the time after you have told him "no" a few times he gets this little grin on his face and tries it just one more time trying to see how far he can get. When you scold him he sticks his pouty bottom lip out and you would think you just crumbeled his self esteem. It is all way too funny.

There is no real big news for us, just anxious for Christmas. Our family has such a wonderful time. Christmas Eve we spend all day cooking, well Mom and Sherri do, I usually help with one or two things before finding one of the kids that needs my attention more :). Then that night we always attend Candle Light service at church and then home to eat and open presents. This lasts way into the night but as a general rule we end things by midnight! Then Christmas morning it is up bright and early to see what Santa has brought. I still love this part! Then more eating and time with the family. It truly has to be the best holiday ever. I think I am so excited this year because last year we did not get any of our traditions and honestly I remember very little. We had only been home with Cooper for a few days and I had pnemonia. I was in so much pain Christmas Eve I really do not remember much other than our emergency room trip. That is why I can't wait to enjoy really our first Christmas with both the kids. So two days and counting.......

WILL THINGS EVER SLOW DOWN.....I HOPE NOT....

Well the weekend once again flew by. Saturday we went to the KU game at the Sprint Center which should have been a blast but KU lost so it wasn't as fun as we had hoped, however we did have a great time. We are getting very spoiled with tickets to KU games and I am so thankful because the kids really love going and we have so much fun watching them cheer the Hawks on. We went with our friend Julie and her son Marty which was a nice treat as we do not see them often. Sunday Raelynn went to Jill's annual sprinkle party where Jill has hundreds of little kids over to her house and allows them to decorate Christmas Cookies with frosting and sprinkles and candies. This would be my worst nightmare and Jill loves it. Imagine a room full of little kids, spreading red and green frosting all over your cabinets and floors and then touching your walls with sprinkled sticky hands. Raelynn loves it. She had so much fun and came home with a beautiful cookie for each of us, even Cooper.


Monday we had an appointment with Dr. Kelley for Cooper's second flu shot, synagis shot and 1 year well check (which also included another 2 shots). Cooper had lost an ounce but with all the throwing up he has been doing I was not surprised. Dr. Kelley did not have an answer for Cooper being sick lately and said we would just watch him. He had done better over the weekend and I thought maybe we were getting past it, until this morning. I will talk more about that later. So at 1 year, Cooper is 27 inches tall and weighs 16lbs 9 oz. He is in the 0% for both height and weight, and we thought he was getting so big :) The good news is developmentally Cooper is right on track. His language development is a little behind, but other than that he is doing great! We will keep working with him and I am sure he will catch up in that area.

Today was insane. I left the house and dropped Cooper off at Lisa's just in time for him to throw up all over her. I took him so she could go clean up and there he went again all over me and himself. So back home I went to get changed and get him new clothes. Back to Lisa's and dropped off the clothes. I got to work a little after 9am. At 11:30 am I picked Raelynn up from preschool and headed to drop her off at Lisa's. We had one little stop to make at the bank. As we were headed back to the car Raelynn missed the snow covered curb and took a nose dive right into the 2 inches of fresh snow. She cut her lip a little so as I was picking her up there was red snow. Back home we went to clean up and get dry clothes on. To top it all off the roads were a mess. Raelynn was fine and you couldn't even see her cut lip. What a day!!! By the time I was headed back to work I could do nothing but laugh. There was a day that this would have sent me over the edge but these days it is the norm!!

So I may be talking about this prematurely but I cannot help but be excited. Sarah, the wonderful women who made the call to Wink, Jr., has came up with an amazing idea. I received an email from her last week that she had been thinking about Raelynn through all of this and wondered if we might incorporate some small gift for the siblings of the families that are helped by Cooper's Cause Foundation. She obviously had put much thought into this and her idea is amazing. The idea is that we would give the siblings an appreciation party and show them that they are not forgotten in all of this and make them feel special. You that know me have to know what this meant to me. Raelynn has always been my rock. The girl is amazing. During all of this I have continually kept Raelynn involved in everything we do and tried to set aside time for just her. But as you all know there were almost a total of 2 months that she lived with my Mom or Sister and only got to visit me in the hospital, definitely not a way to make her feel special. There were days I would sob when she left and feel like the most horrible mother alive. I will never forget the day my Mom had to literally pull Raelynn off of me to leave. We were standing by the ground floor elevators at CMH, I had walked them back down as far as I could go. I was trying to tell Raelynn goodbye but she started to cry. "Please Mommy I don't want to leave, you come with me." I lost it. I remember them peeling her clasped hands from around my neck and I just had to get back on that elevator to go back to Cooper. It was one of the worst moments for me. At that moment I did not know how much longer I could do this to her. No mother should feel so split between her children. Since then, although we try to keep things normal with the kids, there is so much done with Coopers Cause Foundation you have to wonder if there will be a day Raelynn is resentful. And then along comes Sarah! Her idea made me so happy, a way to include Raelynn in the foundation directly. Sarah left it up to us as to what we would name this little part of the foundation but had given a few suggestions. Tonight I sat down with Raelynn to tell her what we were thinking. She was awesome. She thought the idea was great and loved Sarah's suggestion of "Raelynn's Rock Stars" because I tell her she's a rock star all the time! Raelynn thought it would be important to have doctor things at the appreciation party so that the kids could listen to their hearts like the doctors listen to Cooper's. She also told me she would need to be there so if any of the kids had questions about their brothers or sisters broken hearts she could answer them. She went on and on. She makes me so proud and I continue to be in awe at her understanding of the foundation and everything that goes along with it let alone Cooper's condition. Anyway, we will be meeting with Sarah after the first of the year to fully implement Raelynn's Rock Stars and continue to watch Cooper's Cause Foundation reach new levels. Thank you again Sarah!

A POST I HAVE BEEN AVOIDING....

I have been trying to avoid this post but simply cannot any longer. I will make this short because this is hard. One of the families we have been following and who's blog is listed to the right, The Heart of a Princess; Isabelle's Story, lost their precious little girl while waiting for a heart transplant. She was 3 years old. This is a loss I cannot imagine and just ask that you all keep them in your prayers.

GLASSES FOR ONE, THERAPY FOR THE OTHER....

So if you know me you know I am a little "anal". Yes nothing can go undone. I never procrastinate because what can be done today should never be left 'til tomorrow. I hand mop my floors at least daily. Even our junk drawer is organized. Ok, so you get the picture. Well last night we ran out of diapers in Cooper's diaper caddy. I got some more out of the closet and asked Raelynn if she would mind opening them and putting them in the diaper caddy. She eagerly agreed and I left the room to get Cooper a drink. When I returned the pictures below show what I came back to. There was my daughter telling me they needed organized by the color and characters before she put them away and this is just what she had done. After the extensive organization I helped her put them neatly in the caddy. She was very pleased with herself and I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that I am creating a monster! The truth is she had little chance not to be a little "OCD" because Terry is over the top as well. He is a perfectionist. He can take hours just to simply hang a picture because it has to be perfect. I am not complaining at all, of course I want the picture perfect as well.



So let me begin by saying the Wink Eyewear is fabulous and the owner, Mike, was wonderful to us. I picked Cooper up from Lisa's after I dropped Raelynn off from preschool. I was in a hurry as always and was to meet Terry at Wink Jr. at noon. It is downtown on Mass street so of course when I got there I circled the block several times looking for a place to park. Finally I decide to park in a little parking lot about a block away. By this time I am about 5 minutes late and have called Terry twice complaining about my lack of parking ability! The problem is I am horrible at parking so parallel parking is out of the question and a snug parking spot I don't even take a second look at. So I go to grab Cooper out of the car and am very excited to meet Mike at Wink. As I am grabbing Coop out of his car seat he decides to throw up. We have been having a lot of issues with him doing this lately and everyone thinks it is because of his cold but I am not completely convinced. Anyway, there I am reaching for anything to clean him up. Now I am freaking out as Raelynn would say. Again, if you know me, I believe first impressions are very important and I wanted little Cooper to look his best. Well he still looked fine but did not smell so great. I cleaned him up and now am about 15 minutes late....shoot me! I am walking as fast as possible down Mass street in my heels carrying Cooper. Then I realize the prescription card my eye doctor had given me had got launched when Cooper started throwing up so I had no idea where it was but too late now anyway. I see Terry and hand off Cooper and walk in the door with a smile on my face. From the very start Mike was great. He of course asked me for the prescription card and I told him little Cooper had gotten sick and he stopped me right there and assured me he would not have wanted the puked on card anyway :) It made me laugh! He tried on several styles and got a feel for what looked good on Coop and what we liked. He is ordering in a few in Cooper's size and we will go back on Monday or Tuesday and try them on and pick the best one. I have to say looking at Cooper in these glasses made me laugh. He is so stinkin' cute with glasses or without. So I guess I am saying I am coming to terms with it and everyone is helping by saying how cute he will be. Thank you! Whether you mean it or not, thank you :) Mike was generous enough to get his lab to donate the lenses as well and therefore are basically taking care of Cooper's first pair of glasses entirely. I cannot even tell you how nice and generous this is. They are cutting no corners either by giving him the best lenses the little guy could need. They had so many frames to choose from as well and it all makes us feel so blessed. Thank you to Sarah for making the call and thank you to Mike for being so generous and having a big heart! The pictures below give you an idea of Coop in glasses although these were too big.

COOPER EXCITEMENT......

So there we were last night with Molly from Tiny K in the living room playing when Cooper pushes my hands back and stands, all alone. He was so proud of himself. He did it over and over again. Then when Terry got home he had to show him as well and before we knew it he took a step. Then tonight after dinner we were again playing in the living room. Raelynn stood a few feet back and we told Cooper to walk to her and guess what? He did! Now I don't want you to think it was a perfect walk, it was wobbly and he fell at the end but he is on his way. I love this stuff. Babies are cute and cuddly but nothing compares to when they start to achieve things and become curious. I am so excited and Cooper is excited for himself. At one point when we were telling him good job he started clapping for himself! He is just adorable!!!

Tomorrow we go back to the eye doctor to have his eyes dilated and run some test just to double check before we actually put him in glasses. Today I received a call from Wink Eyewear here in Lawrence. The message said that we have a mutual friend who had called them and told them about our situation and that Cooper was now needing glasses and they wanted to help. I wish I could only tell you how these type of things make me feel. I am always so overwhelmed by people's kindness. People always comment that they are so sorry for what we have been through or how they cannot imagine how we have survived all of this but through all the terror and heartache I cannot help but feel we have gained so much from our experience. We have experienced "Good" in a way many never do. I cannot face a single day without feeling like I have a thousand lives to touch just as thousands have touched ours. I constantly want to be better at everything I do and every aspect of my life because I feel like I owe it to everyone who has helped us stay so strong. I love the foundation as it is giving us the opportunity to talk to people and help people that we would have never had otherwise. But today was yet another touching moment. The "mutual friend" Wink spoke of is a friend of a friend. I have met her but I don't really know her. She keeps up on my blog and simply read my blog and from that one post about Cooper needing glasses she called Wink and set things in motion. How do I thank someone so kind and thoughtful? So one moment there is an acquaintance that I don't really "know" and now a friend who I know is kind and thoughtful and selfless. I have added her blog link to my list, The Dukes of Lawrence, please just take time tonight in your prayers to thank God for his angels here on earth.

Let's also not forget the amazing Wink Eyewear. Here is a local business who did not even hesitate at the idea of helping. In a single day they had everything ready for us to come in with our prescription and get Cooper set up. I have also added their link to the side, www.winkeyewear.com. When I called back and asked for the lady that had left me the message she was with a customer and the gentleman asked if he could take a message. I told him I was Kristi Keefer and was returning her call. He says, "Oh yes, you're Cooper's Mom." This always makes me smile because I am no longer "Kristi Keefer" but rather Raelynn or Cooper's Mom and I could not be more proud to have that identity. Anyway, he proceeds to explain his name is Mike and he is the owner and they would like to extend their eye wear to Cooper. Again, the kindness is overwhelming. Again, the tears swell in my eyes. Again, I realize we live in an amazing community. Again, I want to say more than thank you but can't find any other words. Again, I realize how special our little Cooper really is. So I will call them after our appointment tomorrow and we will go from there. I am sure you will hear more about Wink in the near future because I cannot help but think meeting them will be worth a post all of it's own!

I often wonder what Cooper will think of all this when he is much older and can appreciate what has been done for him, for us. I wonder if he will always feel the special love around him. I wonder if he already knows. If you could see him smile, you would think he does.

RAELYNN'S CHRISTMAS PROGRAM.....

I remember going to my nieces Christmas Programs. I always enjoyed them but going to your own child's is so different. Raelynn's Christmas program at her preschool was today. I have been hearing the songs that they are going to sing for about 2 weeks now and they are so cute. Raelynn was pretty bashful the first few songs, but by the last she was singer louder than anyone else. It was pretty cute. Steph came up just for her program which made Raelynn feel pretty special. It was a fun afternoon!

We found out on Friday that Cooper is going to have to have glasses. He is farsighted in his left eye. If we do not try to correct it now, the left eye could develop into a lazy eye. I have several eye issues and I was so worried that Raelynn would when she was born because it is hereditary. However, Raelynn has not had any problems at all, of course. But poor Cooper, on top of everything else, he gets my messed up eyes. I have to say Friday I was very upset about the whole thing. I just feel like Coop has suffered enough not to mention I don't like the fact of having glasses cover up his beautiful blue eyes. As always though, it is what it is so we can only make the most of it and hope they get in some really cute glasses before we go back on Wednesday! When we told Raelynn she said, "Awe, how cute....Coopy you get to have glasses!" If only we all had the attitude of a 3 year old.

ALL ABOUT COOPER....

Yesterday we visited Doctor Kelley in the morning and Dr. Kaine in the afternoon. We went to see Dr. Kelley because Cooper has had a cold for about 2 weeks. We worry about it settling in his chest and it was starting to interrupt his sleep and he was coughing which led to throwing up. His gag reflex is so sensitive it takes very little to make him throw up. Dr. Kelley said he was doing fine. While we were there we did weigh him and he has gained 7 oz. Yippee! It is good to see him gaining but I am still eager for him to begin eating real food instead of just drinking fortified milk. Next we were off to Dr. Kaine's, Coop's cardiologist. They did an ECO and an EKG this time. Dr. Kaine said Cooper is very stable. The hole in his heart, VSD, is getting bigger and is large enough there is no hope that it will close on it's own. This is all stuff we knew anyway. However, the pulmonary stenosis is actually helping to offset the affects of the VSD and therefore Cooper remains stable. We have been so blessed with amazing doctors and every time I visit them they make me feel calm in the midst of my terror. Dr. Kaine never stops smiling when he sees Cooper. He said he is one of his special patients. I never know if this is because it is a miracle that he has made it this far or just because Cooper is special. Anyway, our appointment was very good and we do not have to go back to see Dr. Kaine until April 8th. At that time they will schedule the cardiac catheter and then from there determine when his next open heart surgery will be. I could not help but feel incredibly scared as he discussed the procedure in the next surgery. I continue to say it but I really do not know how I am going to prepare myself for the next one. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about it. I know when the day comes I will make it through because I have to for Cooper and for Raelynn and for Terry but if I could only tell you the way I feel when I think about it. It is like standing at the tip of the highest mountain, looking over it's edge and teetering there knowing if we do fall it is so far down we will never hit the bottom and watching as some actually do fall. We some how make it but then know that there will be other days that we will have to stand there, looking over the edge again, teetering back and forth and just praying to God he can again keep us from falling because we know it is all in his hands, not ours. The anxiety, the fear, the sadness and hopefully the pure joy at the end is a group of emotions jumbled all together I cannot forget no matter how hard I try and that is why I cannot get myself to the point that I am "ok" with his next surgery. When I am alone thinking about it or here writing about it I know I am not ready but I also know myself and when the time comes and I am surrounded by doctors, family and friends I know I will be fine and do what I am suppose to do and will just be thankful that no one can see the pure terror inside me. I will live it all again this time, and the next time and again the next. I will continue to hope it will get easier but also just pray that although I dread every second of it, there will always be the next time. Because if there is no next time, we have fallen. The surgeries are inevitable in Cooper's situation so I find it ironic that I hate them but yet am thrilled to have them because without them there is no Cooper.

Enough of that!!!
Now on to something much better than all that. Tonight Raelynn was in bed, Terry and I were in the living room. I sat on the floor writing Thank yous and looked up to see Cooper crawling towards a toy. Real crawling, not his crazy chimpanzee scoot, but real crawling. I was so excited I startled Terry trying to get his attention to see Coop without distracting Cooper causing him to stop crawling. We spent the next 5 minutes trying to get him to do it again. Anyway, it was awesome. He also decided to stand alone. Again we were so excited so I grabbed my phone to try to catch it on video but he was done with that and on to dancing. So here is Cooper version of "Shake your Bootie"!

WHAT A WHIRLWIND.....

I cannot believe it has been over a week since I posted. There has been so much going on I hope you have a few hours to kill as you sit down to read this post. First I want to thank Raelynn's preschool, First Presbyterian Church Preschool, for their fundraising efforts for Cooper's Cause. They have decided to hold "Coins for Cooper's Cause" during the second semester of the 2008-2009 school year. The kids will collect loose change from home and bring to school. I think they plan to incorporate art time for decorating the collection cans, counting lessons, money lessons, etc. I am so excited about this. Raelynn really understands what Cooper's Cause Foundation is in basic terms and she was very excited to know that her preschool would be helping to raise money. Their support has been and continues to be wonderful.

Thanksgiving was wonderful! We started our day bright and early and were up at Terry's Dad's a little after 9 am. This was our first holiday without Jean but Carol, Bonnie and the rest of the family made sure we had all the traditional dishes, even those that we thought only Nannie could make. It all was delicious. Steph had been here since Tuesday and it was so great to have her at Thanksgiving too. The kids had a blast.
There are so many kids to play with and they played until they were exhausted. As you can imagine, I felt like we had more to be thankful for this year than I ever had before. When I just began to think of the things I was thankful for, it far exceeded the thoughts of Cooper and our family and extended well into people I did not even know well. We have been so blessed this year, to be thankful seemed so small.


Friday morning Steph and I got up at 3:30am and headed out shopping. We had a great time and got most of our shopping done. We were home by 7:15am and there when the Birthday Boy woke up. What a day to celebrate. We let Coop open a few of his gifts and then started right in on Christmas decorating.

After decorating for awhile we took the kids to Halmark to pick out their ornaments. Raelynn picked out Little Einsteins Rocket and Steph and Raelynn decided on this little Super Man outfit ornament for Cooper. We felt it was quite appropriate considering what he had been through. We headed back home after a few more erands and finished decorating.
Friday night we went downtown to watch Santa fly in. This is such a fun night for the kids and for us too. The kids get to visit Santa and the whole atmosphere is wonderful. It was a little chilly but we had a great time. Raelynn told Santa she wanted a hat, scarves, gloves and the Rocket on the Little Einsteins. Yes that is right, she wants the actual Rocket to fly around in. I told her that was a big request for Santa to build in such a short amount of time and I didn't know if he would get it done on time. Everyone said the gifts would get more difficult as she got older, I mean she did only ask for a sucker last year, but difficult is one thing, impossible a whole other! Cooper's cute face made the news again as he sat on Santa's lap. We also discovered Coop loves peppermint. He ate an entire candy cane within seconds.






Saturday was the big celebration, Cooper First Birthday!!! We had so much to celebrate. I don't think anyone was more excited than Raelynn. She loves her brother and could not wait for him to open his gifts. The party went great and I think everyone had a good time. Cooper got so many "boy toys" and I had never seen him play so much. It is now obvious to us that he has been extremely bored and now is having the time of his life. He also met a girl. Her name is Andie and she is adorable. Cooper fell in love immediately. He kept kissing and hugging her. He would go play and then come right back to her. It was so cute.

Kelly made Cooper's cake which was so great of her and it was awesome. I got to help him blow out his candle but it was his Aunt Steph that helped him get right into the cake and frosting!!! Of course Cooper doesn't really eat so he didn't want to have much to do with the cupcake I sat it in from of him but Steph did not think a baby's first birthday should go by without frosting on his nose.



Cooper got so many great toys and he loved them all. Aunt Karli got him a suit for Christmas that was unbelievably cute and Uncle Gary and Cassie got him a pair of Spiderman pajamas which every little boy needs.


Everything was absolutely perfect and I could not help but look at him and know he is a very special little boy and we could not be any luckier than to have him in our lives. I have learned so much from him. This was a day worth celebrating for so many reasons. And to think that one year ago our journey began. This time last year I could never have imagined where we would be today and how things would change and how I would change. Nor would I have imagined we would be looking at this cute little boy with big ears and enjoying every second of his life.



So now the holiday craziness continues and I accept that I have many late nights ahead, again, trying to complete Christmas projects and just keeping up with daily activities. We head to see our cardiologist tomorrow and probably Dr. Kelley as well. Cooper is fighting a cold but it seems to be getting worse and we do not want it to turn into something more serious. Tomorrow we also mail off our final application to the IRS for Cooper's Cause Foundation. We are so close to being on our way with the foundation and that excites me so much. It has been a lot of work and will continue to be but it feels so good and seems like the perfect thing to do. The kids continue to amaze me. Cooper is developing so quickly right now. He points to people as you ask them who they are, "Where's Raelynn?" and he points right at her with a big smile. He is blowing kisses and Lisa said he said "uh oh" today. He has called me Momma a few times and I love that. Little by little he is getting there. Tonight he stood all alone for a few seconds. He is getting so close to walking. He is all over the place and into everything already but I can't wait to see him take his first steps. Raelynn is witty as ever and continues to overwelm me with questions about everything from why she can't fly to when we will die. She has been through so much this year with trials of Cooper and Nannie's death and she seems to understand it all. I do not hide anything from her and I try to be a basic as possible in our discussions but I truly can say I would never have imagined I would be having the conversations we have with a 3 year old.

So hopefully this catches everyone up and I will try not to let it go so long between posts. Thank you all for "reminding" me I needed to make a post :)

THERE IS NO BEGINNING OR END TO THE CHAOS...

I must start with the last 24hours....Sunday the phone rings around 1pm, Lisa's son is sick. Ok, no problem will figure something out for the kids for Monday morning. Have an appointment with the Developmental Specialist at CMH for Cooper. Ok, Raelynn can just miss school and go with us. No that won't work she has her "Feast Day" at school and is signed up to take muffins. Oh no, Lisa is suppose to take her to school because we have to leave town early for Cooper's doctor's appointment. Ok, call Jan. Jan can take her to school and pick her up. Now for the afternoon, call Mary Beth. She can take them after lunch, Yea! All is set. This morning, wake up 15 minutes early (4am) go to the gym to workout, have to cut workout short because we have to get Raelynn to Jan's before we head to CMH. Get home...all is going well, kids are cooperating and looks like we will be heading out the door on time. 7:45 am, phone rings. It is CMH, they are calling to cancel our appointment for the 3rd time. The appointment I dread and think is pointless. Ok, great! Now call Jan and tell her she got up early for nothing and she doesn't need to take Raelynn to school. Oh no what about Cooper? Call Mary Beth, she says it's ok to bring him over this morning. Yea again. Now rush around to get everyone re situated. Head out the door with Cooper. Down the street....phone rings....it's Terry. "Do you need this cooler with Coop's milk and meds?" Turn around....back home....Raelynn runs cooler out to me. Back on the road to Mary Beth's. Get there and get Cooper in and settled. Headed to work. Remember I forgot the diaper bag. Don't think Coop can survive on 1 diaper all day. Back home, get diaper bag, back to Mary Beth's. Ok now headed to work. Call in Terry's prescription refills, call the dentist office to see about a missing toothbrush order, call to check on pictures being framed. At work, 8:45 am. Fells like 8:45 pm.

So that is how my week began, thank goodness it will be a short one. The weekend was great though. Saturday we had all of Terry's side of the family over so we could visit with his niece, Kylie and her family before they headed back to CA. We had a great time and it was good seeing them. Sunday we visited Nanny's grave. Raelynn needed some closure and today is Nanny's birthday so we thought it was a good time to visit. We took out some flowers and Raelynn layed them on her grave. Raelynn has been very bothered by the fact that she did not see them actually lower Nanny into the grave. Sunday when we got there and explained this is wear Nanny lay, she seemed very sad. I told her it was ok to talk to her and we did. It is very touching to see your beautiful 3 year old knelt down beside her Grandmother's grave and say Hi Nanny we miss you and I love you. I could not help but shed a tear. When we left she told her goodbye and we would be back. She is so smart and loving. Raelynn went home with Aunt Bonnie and Aunt Carol and they made cookies. I went to pick her up around 4:30 pm. The cookies were amazing! Raelynn brought cookies home for Daddy, herself and I. None were brought for Cooper because of course he doesn't eat. Yeah right! He ate half my cookie! He loved it and never choked once. Raelynn said he liked her cooking.

This weekend I watched Cooper and Raelynn play a lot. Cooper is getting so cute it is unbelievable. Between his dancing, head bobbing to the beat, laughing and getting so close to walking on his own, I could watch him forever. He loves his sissy and she can entertain him for hours. He was a little fussy this weekend because he is trying to get 3 teeth in right now, but his cuteness overshadows his crankiness. Raelynn is also very comical with her play. We now are in a robot phase. Our house is a robot house and we have robot names. We talk like robots and even act like robots. It is so funny.

The rest of the week is sure to be hectic but wonderful. Stephanie comes in tomorrow and will be here until Sunday. Thursday of course is Thanksgiving and then Friday our big shopping day that starts at 4am followed by decorating for Christmas and this year getting ready for Coop's Birthday. His little party is set for Saturday and my family will come in Friday night. I can't wait. It will all be so much fun. I love family time with both sides of our family!

THANK YOU SCOTT CITY......

Thank you to the entire Scott City community and surrounding area and my wonderful family. Last night went great from what I hear. Everyone had a wonderful time and there was so much support. My aunt and uncle from Lakin even came and that was a wonderful surprise for my family. I am so touched that people so far away care so much! They have offered prayers, kind words and now this. Thank you all so very much!!!

THE STORIES WE ENCOUNTER...

Tonight seems to be a little difficult for me. Cooper is doing so well. Finally things are seeming normal to us, then it seems we are over come by news of other families struggling. You will find two new links of my blog list, Pray for Baby David and Heart of a Princess. In both cases the families are encountering difficulties with their children and congenital heart defects. I feel this unbelievable urge to help them. I have spent the evening researching funds and grants and requesting applications I can forward them. I also am finishing additional paperwork our foundation is requiring from the IRS. I guess now that I feel our situation is currently fairly stable I have to help everyone else. The problem is I am much too emotional. I know we all go through difficult times but these people I know how hard it really is and how it feels to spend days at the hospital and wonder if you will leave with your little one. It sucks! Anyway, please check out there blogs/websites and add them to your prayer lists. We have been so luckily with everything I just want to share some of that with them.

Tomorrow night is the Cooper's Cause Night at Pizza Hut in Scott City. Karli, my little sis, has worked so hard to make this fundraiser happen. Her really good friend, Shanea has been helping her along with Mom. I am so proud of her and hope the night is a huge success not just for us but for Karli. She is one of those people who is the happiest when she is doing something for others. They put this whole fundraiser together and I knew nothing about it until a week or so ago, they wanted to surprise us. Anyway I am looking forward to hearing how it goes and wish we could be there too. Thank you Karli, Mom, Shanea and everyone else who is helping and supporting this fundraiser. The entire community of Scott City has been amazingly supportive in various ways of our family and we are truly grateful!

QUICK COOPER UPDATE.....

Cooper saw Dr. Kelley today and it was the most "normal" visit we have had since Cooper was born. He has gained 4oz and is up to 16lbs 3oz. He has grown 2" and is up to 29". He got his flu shot and synagis shot and that was that. It was great. Nothing really to discuss and nothing really to change. It was simply and unusually uneventful. Yeah!!!

WHERE HAS THE WEEK GONE....

This week has been so busy but I think I always say that now. Tuesday night we went to the KU vs. Emporia State game. In the past we have always made sure Raelynn makes it to at least one game each season and it is usually easier to get tickets to preseason games than any other time. We had to introduce Cooper to our little tradition this year. The kids loved it. We had so much fun. At one point when Emporia State had the ball and KU was headed down the court on defense Raelynn stood up and yelled "DEFENSE HAWKS! DEFENSE! Of course it had to be at a time when it was fairly quiet. Our entire section turned around to look at her with big smiles. The girl gets into her games! It was so cute. It was equally as cute to watch Cooper enjoy the atmosphere. Every time the band would play he would start bobbing his head to the beat. When the crowd clapped, Cooper clapped too. He was all smiles. We had a terrific time. I really cannot tell you how much I love doing things with Terry and the kids. They are all just so cute and watching them enjoy events is priceless.

Wednesday night the kids stayed with Kelly while Terry and I headed to Overland Park to pick out the pictures we wanted from our Sunday visit to Flash Portraits at Oak Park Mall. This place does an amazing job. We have been going there since Raelynn was born. This time was kind of special because it had been the first time we had really been able to have professional pictures of Cooper. We did his one year photos and then had a family picture taken since we had not done that either since Coop was born. The pictures turned out great and it took us 2 hours to finally decide what we wanted. The have a great set up there and are so much help. Feel free to check out our pictures at www.flashportraits.com. Select My Portraits from the list on the right and then select Go To My Portraits, type in Keefer and there they are.

The kids seem to be changing daily right now, not so much in looks but in personality. Raelynn is so "grown up" and I know I could write a best seller just on the daily conversations I have with her. She is so smart yet so innocent. She is always respectful but yet in my opinion getting a little mouthy in her tone. We discuss respect and how to treat each other with love and how family is special and on and on but I am feeling like we are beginning to mold her and discipline her into the adult she will become. Quite honestly it scares me to death. I pray every day that we are teaching her well and giving her a good foundation to build a wonderful life on. I know it sounds like I am exaggerating but Raelynn is 3 but seems to know and understand so much. We talk to her directly about things and give her the facts and leave her out of very little in our conversations. I think this has helped her learn to communicate. Then there is Cooper. He smiles all the time and is all over the place. He is not walking yet but as long as he can get his hands on anything he cruises right around. He still does not crawl but he scoots and that gets him where walking can't yet. He is quick too! Raelynn and he are starting to play a lot. I could sit and watch and listen to them play all day long. They are precious!

Dr. Kelley called today to let us know Cooper was approved for Synagis, yeah! Synagis is a vaccine given to prevent RSV. It is a very expensive shot and has to be preapproved by your health insurance. The process is difficult but we had been through it with Raelynn too because she was a preemie. Anyway, our doctors office is awesome and they do all the work. It was necessary that Cooper be approved and our cardiologist had even said if we weren't we would still need to consider doing the shot. The shots are given monthly during RSV season which can vary but usually starts in October or November and lasts through April or March. The shots are based on weight but easily can exceed $1000 per shot. This is the first time that Cooper being small is not so disappointing :) He also reviewed the MRI with me. He too said there was nothing to worry about and confirmed my understanding of everything. He said if he had to say something bad about it, he would mention that the Germinal Matrix does put Cooper at a higher risk of seizures. But even if that does happen, people with seizures are normal functioning adults and most you do not even know suffer from seizures. So basically we will remember the MRI findings but will not worry about them. I do plan to ask what we should do in the event of a seizure so that we are prepared but I will leave it at that and there will not be any further imaging done at this time.

Last night I received an email from a woman who had just found out her son has DORV (Double Outlet Right Ventricle) too. She had just found out yesterday and wanted any advice or information I could give her. I cried as I read her email remembering what it was like when we first found out and the hard and difficult road they have ahead of them. I emailed her back and I have no idea if I said anything of relevance because my mind was racing. I almost wish I would have simply said, "You are in for one amazing journey both awful and wonderful. Hold onto one another and always look for the light at the end of the tunnel because it is there, but the tunnels are long and many." I will never be able to explain how this experience has changed me but I can promise that although I would never wish this for us or anyone else, the good that has come out of it will always remind me that God has a plan. I wish this family the very best and hope that if I can help in any way she will again contact me.

TERRY'S BIRTHDAY WEEKEND....

Terry's birthday was Friday. It is always so hard to figure out what to get him. There is nothing he wants except things that are too expensive for us to buy and that is why he doesn't have them. He has been looking at buying a GPS system for his truck for months. A few weeks ago I decided to get that for him for his birthday and Christmas together. The problem was I knew he knew exactly what he wanted but I didn't. So I called Kathy at the store and asked her if she thought we could fool Terry into going to Best Buy for a "carpet measurement" but instead I would be there and surprise him. He could then pick out what he wanted. Well it worked like a charm. He was definitely surprised and I think he was really happy and excited. I was so happy because I love to do nice things for him it is just that he never really wants for anything. Anyway that was my gift to him. Earlier in the week I had taken Raelynn and Cooper shopping for their gift to him. Raelynn decided he needed a new stocking hat to keep him warm this winter. she picked out a really nice KU one. She was so excited to give it to him but did such a good job of keeping it a secret.


After their gift Raelynn wanted to make Daddy Birthday Brownies. Everyone helped including Terry. Well actually Raelynn and I made the brownies and everyone helped clean up.


Today was a big day too. We went to Kansas City and had our family picture and Cooper's 1 Year pictures taken. I was so happy to finally be able to do this. I did not want to take pictures until Cooper was free from all tubes. Pictures went really well and the kids were great. They are both so darn cute! Cooper did a fabulous job and did not get fussy at all until the very end and we had already gotten several pictures. We go back on Wednesday to pick them and I know it is going to be hard but I am so excited. After that we headed to Nebraska Furniture Mart to check out washers and dryers. My washing machine was on its last leg. There was only 1 cycle that worked, Permanent Press, and often it would not spin the clothes. We have known for quite awhile that we needed to get a new one but they are just so expensive. Then on Friday, the dryer stopped drying. I would run it and run it and clothes were still wet. I could not take it any more. So I am now the proud owner of a new washer and dryer and they are amazing. It is unbelievable the things they do now. We did buy a front load but by no means bought the top of the line. I am very happy with them though and since doing laundry seems to be what I do in every second of my spare time these days, it is nice to have a set that actually do what they are designed for :).

Oh yeah, and how can I forget, Raelynn and Cooper are starting their own band using my bowls, pots and pans. We are so thrilled that their practicing has become a nightly event. Unfortunately, they are not improving very rapidly, hahaha!

RAELYNN'S NEW DO.....

I have not yet decided if I like it, but Raelynn has a new do. She loves it. It was just getting to the point that we were putting in up in some fashion every day. If not, by the end of the day it would just be tangled and stringy. It should be much easier for us both to take care of and hopefully it will thinken up a bit and then look better as it grows out.

ELMO LIVE.....

Last night Raelynn and I went with some friends to Elmo Live in Topeka. We had so much fun. Raelynn does not watch Sesame Street all that often but she does know who Elmo is even though she calls him Nemo! We road to Topeka with Kelly and Kaden and Kaden is a HUGE Elmo fan. The fact that Raelynn calls Elmo Nemo really made Kaden irritated. He continually corrected her which made us laugh, including Raelynn. I think this is why she continued to call him Nemo. Anyway, the evening was so much fun.
We went with three friends and thier little ones and it was so cute to watch all the kids. Raelynn also had her first experience with cotton candy. I wish I could have caught her face on camera when she first tried it. Her expression was priceless. None of the other kids were too eager to try it after they saw her reaction, but after a few more bites she was hooked.